Sigma’s Simulacrum of Reality

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Got this from JohnLeeMK’s forum:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!”

“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.

“Well, there’s so much to live for!”

“Like what?”

“Well… are you religious?”

He said yes.

I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?”

“Christian.”

“Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

“Protestant.”

“Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

“Baptist”

“Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”

“Baptist Church of God!”

“Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?”

“Reformed Baptist Church of God!”

“Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”

He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!”

I said, “Die, heretic scum”, and pushed him off.

Hey there guys! I got this idea from another blog. I’m just curious as to who frequents this humble blog of mine I know that apart from my pals in Australia who I know occasionally reads this, hItMaN and Dee, and good ol’ xiinfidel, the rest probably consists of Malaysians that I’ve never meet before.

So if you don’t mind, why don’t you introduce yourselves? Just state your name (or nick), where you’re from, where you’re studying, and how you got to know about this blog in the comment for this post.

Cheers then!

A HR manager was interviewing potential candidates for a job in his company.

He first interviewd an engineer:

Manager : “What’s 2+2?”

Engineer: “Oh, precisely 4″

He thanked the engineer. Next, he interviewed a lawyer:

Manager: “What’s 2+2?”

Lawyer: “Well, I would advice you that it could be either 4 or 2 squared”

He thanked the lawyer. Next, he interviewed an accountant:

Manager: “What’s 2+2?”

The accountant got up, closes the door, pulls the drapes, dims the light, and asks in a hush voice: “What do you want it to be?”

Damn… But I guess Barca deserved to win. However, kudos to Arsenal’s defence team which managed to contain Barca for long periods of time with only 10 men before breaking down.

I thought that Samuel Eto and Thierry Henry was pretty good in that match.

Heard from Singaporean comedian Kumar:

(Warning: A bit racist one, but come on laa, it’s just a joke! )

“You know, I hate those German car-makers lah. Why? Because those Germans make the cars, the Malays sell the cars, the Chinese buy the cars, and we Indians end up washing those cars!”

Heard from the movie Traffic:

The reason why tornadoes have woman names: When they ‘come’, they’re wet and wild, when they go, they take your house and car…

Lol!

Just felt like transfering some of my favourite posts from my previous blog Cyrix’s Codex, to this new one. Pity I’d lose some of your cool comments on them But at least I’d still get to archieve them in this new one.

So anyway, just writing this in case you’re wondering whether you’re having a massive case of
deja vu, or whether you’ve drank one bottle of beer too many…

To those of you who’ve read them before, just feel free to skip over them. To those who haven’t, check them out then!

I came across this poignant poem while looking through the papers yesterday. It was written by Pastor Martin Niemoller, who was imprisoned by the Nazis during those insane times. I feel that it also aptly describes the situation in Malaysia right now (all it needs is a few change of words), and it should be addressed to all the young politically-apathetic Malaysians out there:

First they came for the communists,
I did not speak out
because I was not a communist.
When they came for the social democrats,
I did not speak out
because I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists
I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews
I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew;
And when they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out

Here’s the Malaysian version that I came up with:

First they came for the opposition members,
I did not speak out
because I was not an opposition member.
When they came for the activists,
I did not speak out
because I was not an activist.
When they came for the journalists
I did not speak out
because I was not a journalist.
When they came for the university students
I did not speak out
because I was not a university student;
And when they came for me,
there was no one left to speak up for me